The Mad Cow - Hormones and the mind

You've heard the old joke... Why do they call PMS, "PMS"... because "Mad Cow Disease" was taken.

Without going into details of the ebb and flow of my hormones, I have come to realize that once a month every month I come to the realization that I am unattractive. After I finally noticed that I have this same thought every 28 days, I have learnt to laugh at myself and think "this too will pass". However, even armed with this self-knowledge I cannot prevent the thought from popping into my head. And between the moment of that thought and the moment of realization, I am often truly saddened.

We all, in some way witness the link between chemicals and thoughts. I think of the clinically depressed, and I wonder... even knowing that they are depressed, they cannot stop the thoughts from coming. Unlike me, they cannot laugh it off... because it never passes.

Smoking Gun?

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/emschool1.html

How to get a visa

Went home for Xmas and got my H1-B visa. The guy who interviewed me was crazy cute... I wonder how one gets into the foreign service? The window next to him was servicing the other types of visas. There were 20 rejections to every visa granted. People cried. Worse than that the whole process was kind of inhuman - waiting in line in the sun.. being shunted from here to there with no order or explanation. The US embassy in Jamaica really needs to learn how to treat human beings.

I got my visa a week later. It's a simple process if you have a job like mine I guess. It's a simple process if you are educated too and have a history of travelling. Next step... green card?

Anyway, on the way back into the country yesterday the customs officer looked at my documentation, smiled and me and said "welcome home". He was so warm, yet it sent shivers right through me. Is the US my home now, even if it doesn't feel like it is? Is Jamaica my home?

I saved my first million JA this year. I'm thinking of buying an acre of land out in Lucea. Is this a smart business move or just a way to mark my territory?