Hate Crime

• •  Below is a facebook conversation with a friend
    
    
    
    
    Him: oh btw....did i tell you about my beating?
• Me:
  

  about an hour ago

  • ?
  • no
• Him:
  

  about an hour ago

  • a couple of weeks ago...i was walking back home from a friend's place ...a party....got jumped by 4 white guys.....got pretty much the shit kicked out of me
  • my shoulder's messed up....doing physical therapy these days
• about an hour ago

  Me:

  • !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • wtf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • are you OK...ish?
  • no permanent damage right?
  • did you get a look at them?
  • tell the police?
• Him:
  

  about an hour ago

  
  

  • yeah....improving... have not been to the gym in a month...
  • not permanent no...hopefully...
  • yeah...they drove by me on my way back....yellled at me ....slowed the car down....i told em to fuck off...they parked the car...ran to me...told me to apologize....and i did...cuz i didnt want trouble....and they said i needed to apologize to them individuallly...i just tried to get out of the way and get home...and got called a brown bastard....and i told em they were being racist....
• 
  
• Him: 

  
  

  • at which point they decided to fuck me up...i got one guy in the face...but the others wrestled me down and kicked the crap out of me...i was unconscious for a few mins before some people from a frat house across the street came out and helped me up
  • the police

    came*....they took a statement ....and pics and a police report was 

    filed
• Me:
  

  about an hour ago

  
  

  • I think Im going to cry
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Yes, I cried. I can't even articulate how angry, upset and terrified this makes me... on his behalf, on my own behalf. This stuff actually happens. Not just in movies. Not just far away or long ago. But here and now to your family and friends. I can't forget that this happened. I can't for one second forget.

How to get a Green Card - the paradoxes of immigration

In case you didn't pick up on it, I am in grad school now for a PhD in Math. I'm having a great time of it so far, but I can see that I am at a tremendous disadvantage simply because I am not a US citizen or permanent resident.

The government, rightfully acknowledging the need for American scientists and mathematicians, pours money into these fields. That's why Math PhD's get paid to finish their degree. That's why a couple of my classmates can call someone up and get Uncle Sam to pay for their text books, or why some of them are getting an all expense paid trip to New Orleans in January... for a Math conference of course. Government money flooding all over.

However, government money can only flow to US permanent residents and citizens. This leaves my Jamaican ass out in the cold. I can't even apply for the great majority of fellowships etc. But I figure, I've been in the US for 6 years now. By the end of my degree that 6 will be 12, and as a Math PhD, I would be valuable to the country. There must be a way of getting permanent residency over the next 6 years.

WRONG. There is absolutely no legal way for me to even qualify for an application. I have no immediate family here, I am not married to an American, and I am not famous in any field. So, given the unlikeliness of any of those things happening (I am still holding out for a Field's Medal!), there is no hope. I am cut off from the most promising opportunities in my field. I don't like the statistics either... immigrant graduates tend to be shunted from college to college after they get their PhD's.... never ever to be granted tenure.

Have I doomed myself to third class status by choosing to be an immigrant scholar? No, I actually think that the short-sightedness of current US immigration policy is to blame. There are so many great countries that would welcome a Math PhD with open arms; allowing me at least residency status.

Don't they remember that was how this country was built? And since the home-grown talent ain't that great... no offense

Conclusion:I fully believe the US deserves to lose it's immigrant talent
Observation: The outflow has already begun...


Addendum:why immigrant entrepreneurs are going home

Waiting for Superman - comments on state-run education

I watched this wonderful documentary about the failures of state-run education in the US. Maybe "wonderful" isn't the right word. It was heartbreaking, highly disturbing and raises great questions about, the real lack of opportunity in the US, the dangers of bureaucracy and the idea of American exceptionalism even in the face of clear evidence to the contrary - everything American is the best! Best education system, best healthcare system etc

This particular film is even more thought-provoking for me because I am now a graduate calculus TA at a large state university. The film speaks mostly to high-school education, but I get to see what that system spits out. Let me tell you this... the kids are not prepared and I don't think I can possibly help them. Not only because they are so far behind, but because I shouldn't be their calc TA. The university pours the little money they have into the math grad programme in order to attract more grad students, so they can serve as cheap TA's and basic math instructors, because tenured professors are so much more expensive. Then, we were explicitly told to put our calc teaching behind our other grad school work ... we are , after all, PhD students first.

Putting this all together, even if I were the best Calc TA in the world (and believe me, I'm not) I would still be doing them a disservice because I cannot, at the core of it, be wholly invested in my kids' education. This is a big dilemma

Square Peg, Round Hole - the break with Consulting

So my manager flipped her shit over the passed two weeks and apparently had a couple meetings which will probably result in me being fired earlier than I had hoped... I find out on Monday. They say, that the case I was on was "below my level", so the good work that I did do for 4 months, doesn't count, and for some reason, the opinion of my supervisor (who thought I did great) doesn't count. What apparently does matter, is the dubious last two weeks of the case where I really didn't have much to do at all. All that is left is this crazy manager of mine, who without actually really ever looking at my work and while ignoring the person who does see my work, has decided that I am not up to scratch. But it's not just her, it can't be... someone staffed me in the position where I couldn't win, people refused to listen when my supervisor had a differing opinion, someone decided to have that meeting where neither I nor my supervisor were involved or spoken to, to decide my fate. And my teammates had to be complicit... one fellow is running around showing my work as his - perhaps he will get that early promotion he is gunning for. My consensus reviewer assured me, "your opinion was heard". How is that possible when noone asked me what my opinion was? There is something, wholly inconsistent and deeply disturbing about this whole process.

It begs the question... if they set me up to fail... what did they expect? It posits the answer... they expected me to fail. You can't win if you are constantly asked to change someone's opinion of you.

My consensus reviewer decided to tell me that I had all the qualities to be great at this job, even more so than some people who are great at this job, but something just didnt click... it was like fitting a sqaure peg into a round hole.

After this news, I go back to my desk from which I can see through the glass doors of the adjacent conference room. Inside was my manager and the rest of the team, and projected on the screen was the model I had built to "help" my teammate. In that moment I learnt the definition of so many words... wrath, outrage, insult, frustration...

So, this is not just to rant. But to preserve for posterity. And hopefully warn any of you against the dangers of corporate america and in particular big consulting firms. These are not meritocracies, you will not be judged on the quality of your work, you will be asked to do shitty things for money and the worse thing you can do is not fit in.

Below is pretty much a day in the life.

How to get a visa

Went home for Xmas and got my H1-B visa. The guy who interviewed me was crazy cute... I wonder how one gets into the foreign service? The window next to him was servicing the other types of visas. There were 20 rejections to every visa granted. People cried. Worse than that the whole process was kind of inhuman - waiting in line in the sun.. being shunted from here to there with no order or explanation. The US embassy in Jamaica really needs to learn how to treat human beings.

I got my visa a week later. It's a simple process if you have a job like mine I guess. It's a simple process if you are educated too and have a history of travelling. Next step... green card?

Anyway, on the way back into the country yesterday the customs officer looked at my documentation, smiled and me and said "welcome home". He was so warm, yet it sent shivers right through me. Is the US my home now, even if it doesn't feel like it is? Is Jamaica my home?

I saved my first million JA this year. I'm thinking of buying an acre of land out in Lucea. Is this a smart business move or just a way to mark my territory?