Hipsters, be free!!

"The dance floor at a hipster party looks like it should be surrounded by
quotation marks. While punk, disco and hip hop all had immersive, intimate and
energetic dance styles that liberated the dancer from his/her mental states – be
it the head-spinning b-boy or violent thrashings of a live punk show – the
hipster has more of a joke dance. A faux shrug shuffle that mocks the very idea
of dancing or, at its best, illustrates a non-committal fear of expression
typified in a weird twitch/ironic twist. The dancers are too self-aware to let
themselves feel any form of liberation; they shuffle along, shrugging themselves
into oblivion. "

-from here

I often feel the need to move freely. To dance, to fight to frolic. Where can I be free?

Worse Things - That trashy girl from grease

Excerpt from a song from Grease... I am so guilty

"but there are worse things I could do I could flirtwith all the guys, smile
at them and bat my eyes.Press against them when we dance, make them think they
stand a chanceand then refuse to see it through,that's the thing I'd never do. I
can stay home every nightWait around for Mr. Right, take cold showers everyday,
and throw my life away, on a dream that won't come true"

The Professor's Daughter - Emily Raboteau

I guess I have a lot to say tonight. So for your reading ease, I present the subsections:

Liteature:
...reading this book I found on my grandma's bed-side table. While I was riding the Q one line really stuck with me.

"That's a bullshit word. 'Shy.' That just a pretty word for selfish."

Interesting. Is that true? I always thought that the a shy person was just secretly wracked with fear. What if they are just secretly hoarding all the beautiful insightful things they could be giving us. Everything going in, nothing coming out.

Friends:
A guy friend of mine just admitted something he has been struggling with alone. I don't want to write about him, but I just wanted to say that if he had told us, we would have taken care of him. Some people would say he was dumb for letting it go so long, when it was an easy fix. But he's not dumb, he's proud. I would have done the same in his situation. I wouldn't have liked him any less for caving. I like him all the more for not.

Family:
Anyway, It turns out that my cousin in actually going to have her wedding at my house in Jamaica. Imagine that.

Here in NYC, my grandma is having her operation on Wednesday. She is removing her gallstones. Somehow, it's not going to be an invasive procedure. We prepare for the Hospital stay tomorrow.

Next time I'll try and write a little about The Fountainhead. Today I went to a dance class at the New Dance Group place on 38th and 8th. I love getting sweaty, don't you? I really don't care how unattractive it is. Those endorphines do crazy things to me.

Vogueing and the Female Mind

Call: Twisting Twirling!
Response: Spining Swirling!

Call: Twerking!
Response: Jerking!

Call: Really Working!

All: OWWWWW

Call: I'm talking 'bout eating it up
Response: What?

Call: I'm talking 'bout serving it out
Response: Yeah?

Call: Booyaka Booyaka Booyaka
Response: Bitch !

All: Chaa Chacha Chaa Chaa Chaaaaaaa!


Went to a vogueing workshop. It was awesome!! I had only seen this kind of dance on madonna and youtube videos and it was a good exercise trying to do a new style of dance that I completely and utterly sucked at.

It was good for more than that though. I am constantly frustrated at dance parties here at school and have previously not been able to put the why into words. The guy who ran the workshop said that when voguers hit the dance floor, they bring it all, they give it their ten out of ten and this often results in fights, and beautiful challenging dancing. I end nights here with tons of energy still in my veins. I need a place where I can give my ten without feeling alone.

The chant above must be said with attitude, loudly. The dancing itself is constantly a challenge, a battle and imposition of one's female self - unapologetically - upon the world. But we have to remember that this is a dance done by men. What can they truly know about femininity? Can a female really push hers femaleness so violently forward for display?

Right now I sit with a friend. She has balls of solid brass and last night put herself forward and asked a guy out. Today she has given up on guys and openness and bravery. I, with only half her courage, sit deciphering nonsensical and meaningless phrases that guys throw out at me to see if I can find some hint of real interest. "You rock!" What the hell??

Our approaches are very different. Passive and active we are confronted with a world of sexuality where we just don't run the show.

All: Chaa Chacha Chaa Chaa Chaaaaaaa!

Dance, Travel, and Jena

My Grandma always said one should never trust a girl who doesn't like to dance. What on earth could that possibly mean? What's wrong with a girl who doesn't like to dance? Anyway, we are holding call-back auditions for one of my dance groups today. And even better than a girl who likes to dance, is a guy who likes to dance. How can a girl resist a fun-loving guy who demonstrable has flawless rhythm? Guys, take note.

After auditions we spend a couple of hours trying to figure out who to let in and then I get to write a 20 pager on the history of commutative algebra. Nice!!! I slept 12 hours last night in an attempt to procrastinate. But I have no more time to waste. Now I am taking comfort in my academic obligations. It will prevent me from havign to talk to people. Don't get me wrong, I love people and people generally like me, but after being gone all year its hard to reconnect. At first I thought it was that people have changed. But maybe its me. I am starting to fear that I am older, more judgemental and more awkward than I used to be. Only time will tell.

Even though I am trying to avoid people I am still thinking that later today I will attend a joint meeting between the Black Student Union and the Students for Social Justice about a Jena 6 awareness campaign on campus. For some info go to:

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/world/story/0,,2083762,00.html
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=12353776
http://www.amnesty.org.uk/news_details.asp?NewsID=17444
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/chi-070904jena,1,4272535.story

for entertainment, I suggest: www.allabout-sp.net