Retired confessions with a little Buddhism

Today I retire the confession: "I self-sabotage. I know what must be done, and sometimes I just don't do it... does this mean I have problems, or that I just don't want the things I think I want?"

All this time in the Midwest has helped me sort out what my desires really are. The painful part of admitting your desires, is admitting the chance you will never have what you want. It's easier to want nothing - that's how the Buddhists deal with life after all - but is it better? Jury's out.

But now I do know that when I self sabotage, it's because I just don't want what I'm pretending to want. I am undisciplined and stubborn.


Now I must confess: Sometimes I fake emotions. I wonder if they can tell.